ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
PARADOXMAGIC
These two kids who had never met before, decided to hug it out (via)
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.
This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.
IT GOT BETTER.
i never really liked
my name
much
until i found out
what it tastes like
when you sigh it
into my
mouth
(元記事： oceanicforest (thenewdoctorofarkhamから))
When people interrupt me while I’m reading
They expect my reaction to be something like:
When really, my reaction is something like:
(元記事： infamoushogwartsjaguar (buttshavetakenovermylifeから))
10 things not to say to a women
this is guaranteed way to get yourself murdered
HAVE YOU EVER JUST REALLY WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE AND YOURE IN A MUTUAL FOLLOW WITH THEM AND YOU JUST KIND OF STARE AT THEIR URL LONGINGLY BEFORE JUST SLOWLY SCROLLING PAST BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO SEEM WEIRD
The Scarecrow by Alex Ross
(By far one of my favorite versions of Crane)
i got batman panties tonight and now i’m just like
my butt is justice
